San Jose, Ca

Local Alien takes a moment for a great opportunity for a photo opportunity with the recently elected Governor Ahhhnold! of California. The two were seen in San Jose having breakfast at a local diner discussing the day's issues in business, politics, and galactic takeovers.

"I agree with his policies and I think he will do a great job as Governor!" stated the Local Alien when asked about his meeting with the Governor.

"I know Alien doesn't often take positions on many issues which is why I really do appreciate his support. I think this can only benefit the people of Caleefornia!" stated the Governor when asked to comment.

The support of the Local Alien actually does absolutely nothing as far as helping or hurting his administration. The Alien constituency in California is basically zero, consisting pretty much of this Local Alien shown in this picture, Alf, the wise cracking cat eater, and Evie Garland, the product of a drunken one night stand between a human woman and a mysterious alien man who communicates with Evie and her mother in a language unbelievably similar to that of American English, via the strobelight sitting on their livingroom coffeetable. Go figure? He does, however, make up for being a deadbeat dad and furthermore, dogde paying child support, by giving Evie the power to stop time! Ahh the 70's!

So basically the information provided in this article is as valuble as hot fecal matter.

Story continues on Page 10!!!

EDITORIAL

Alf speaks out! Find out what Alf thinks of Kobe, Martha, the Local Alien and Ahhnold, foreign policy, the economy, Bush, Kerry, cats, Stern, and Janet!! Details Inside!!!

"Putting people in charge of the Earth, is the Cosmic equivilance of letting Eddie Murphy Direct." -Alf

Read more on page 33!!