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Written: February 28, 2008 "I'm learning the hard way..."
November 28, 2008 10:19 pm

you know when you just get to the point of not being able to do certain things in life anymore? i think i'm at that point in life. everyone i surround myself with has been going through some tough shit and it's really just bringing us all closer together and honestly with all the horrible, useless, and immature shit that's been going on it's been pretty refreshing to surround myself with people who truly give a damn. i'm starting to learn to just worry about myself and give my support to those who give their support to me. it's been a learning process that has indeed been painful, but i think without it i would have never been able to just worry about myself for once.

today, i finally disadded a certain person completely from my life. i deleted his number from my phone, and from myspace and facebook. i will no longer have the urges to go to his pages and update myself with his selfish life. i just can't do it anymore. life is too short to worry about people who don't give a damn about you or just fail to show it thinking that i'm always going to be there for them. i pride myself on being a decent human being, with decent morals, and decent beliefs. i'm not going to let someone's selfishness ruin my progression on happiness and being content with myself. i am not a bad person and i believe it.

i'm sad i've lost a best friend that's meant a lot a me the past 2 years of my life and has seen me grow up and seen me accomplish some of my dreams. i'm sad that i can no longer depend on him even if at the end i couldn't even depend on him. i'm also sad that i dealt with his shit for the past two years of my life. i don't regret the friendship because i've grown up and learned a lot of valuable traits about myself and that i sometimes need to put myself first before others. people come in and out of your life for reason. i've learned the reason why you came into my life and why you're out of it and even though you may not be able to read this it's my closure to a battle i've been raging with for the past month and a half. the end.

life goes on. day by day. heartbeat by heartbeat.

 

 

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us." - Nelson Mandela.

"Nothing tells memories from ordinary moments, only afterwards do they claim rememberance on account of their scars." - La Jetee

"When the power of love overcomes the love for power, the world will know peace." -Jimi Hendrix

I'm that girl that stands in the middle of a crowded room and wonders if she will ever be noticed, but soon takes it upon herself to shine. I am motivated more then the average person. I push through the hardest of situations and come out on top. I sometimes get down on myself, but I try to look on the bright side of everything. I smile more than I frown because I never want my face to freeze up and it to be a face of sadness. I say the wrong things sometimes and I don't always get my point across because I'm not witty with words. My actions speak louder then my words and I'm not always proud of the way my actions don't mean what my words would mean. I'm hard to understand and I really look up to someone who takes the time out to understand me. I am the most loyal person you'll ever meet and I openly admit that when betrayed I have a hard time forgiving whole-heartedly. I've learned to just live and love life more then regret things I've done in the past that I can't change. I take what is thrown at me and make it so it benefits me because that's what life is all about. When lemons are thrown at you why not make lemonade?

   

 

 

 

 

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