<div align="center">Volume 1,34932.99                         Good News! Read it.            October 04</div>

Man gives birth to horse! Cows on strike. Learn how breathing causes lung cancer and walking promotes arthritis. Don't leave your home.

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Volume XX
All The News That Fits
October 04, 1999
Aliens Sited in San Jose
Alien Body Found Sleeping in Wrecked SpaceCraft
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San Jose, Ca

It was the last day of ninth grade and had diarrhea. I was slowly walking home, by myself, my best friend had just moved away. I was not feeling
myself at the time. A girl, my age stepped out in front and tripped me .
"CHOSEN ONE!" She yelled from behind me as I fell. "You are the choosen one, Anthony! You are our supreme ruler. "
"What? No! Stop yelling!"
I started running and crying. Sue pulled out some sort of a wepon and slashed my arm. ARROWED!! I kept running and out ran her just in time for Neopolitan ice cream. I still
have the scar today and wish it never happened. But it did happen.

I'm not lying.

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