Paris Hilton gains100lbs! (Page 57)
Bob Marley is still alive! (Page 23)
Bush is caught lying! (Page 10)

Volume XX
You See it Here First
May 7,2007
Wanted Alien: Dead or Alive
Alien may look cute at first, but be cautious! DO NOT LET HIM IN!
San Jose, Ca

The following story was told to this publications staff reporter. Editorial decided to print it as told.

It was the last day of ninth grade. I was slowly walking home, by myself, my best friend had just moved away. I was not feeling myself at the time. A girl, my age stepped out in front of me.

"CHOSEN ONE!" She yelled from behind me. "You are the chosen one, Anthony. You are our supreme ruler."
"What? No!"

I started running. Sue pulled out some sort of a weapon and slashed my arm. I kept running and out ran her just in time. I still have the scar today and wish it never happened.

Picture Above: left, cute baby alias. right, the real alien comes out! (Continued on Page 20)