Miami, FL

In an eerie reminder that Florida remains a hotbed for voter irregularities, an astounding event developed today as polls closed throughout the state.

It appears, although details are still sketchy, that an alien life form had descended from the sky to assist minority voters through a maze of red tape, roadblocks and other hindrances to voting.

In a shocking moment Governor Jeb Bush appeared with a full regimen from the Florida National Guard and opened fire with machine guns, rocket propelled grenades and flamethrowers.